Downfall

       'Success is never final, failure is never fatal. It's courage that counts.' - John Wooden

       The possibility of failure has too often kept me awake until first light – and I do not imply any specific failure. Rather, the general idea that there are too many aspects of human knowledge that shall forever remain beyond me; too many roads I shall never walk; too many mysteries that shall always be outside my comprehension.

       This is what failure means to me – the inability to be better. The end of my will, the boundaries of my endurance, the faltering of my strength. The final drop of disillusionment that is always the tipping point that drives me towards despair…

       I am only human. There will come a day when I will fail.

       But I will always rise above my errors, overcome my misconceptions and strive for greater understanding.

       It is the only way, I believe, to become better than you think you can be.   

Scarcity Study

       'Don't let people drive you crazy when you know it's in walking distance.'  - Author Unknown

       I am very far from the thought that I am in any way close to exceptional.
       Apart from the realisation that the universe does not revolve around my person, I am quite the same as everyone else – I have my grandiose dreams and petty vices, I am simultaneously appallingly arrogant and inspiringly humble. I am, to paraphrase, common stock.
       But, with very, very, very few exceptions, so is each and every person on this chunk of rock we call Earth.
       I think… I think I wanted to say that I believe you should never let those who think themselves your betters make you feel inferior. ‘Illegitimi non carborundum,’ etcetera, etcetera. Or would that be, ‘Noli nothis permittere te terere,’ as Henry Beard suggested? Anyway… I am almost certain that, in reality, those few who truly are better would never stoop so low.
       Finally – and perhaps most importantly – have faith, my dear, vociferous readers. If you yourself do not believe you are a decent human being, a person who deserves far more than this grey world quite often gives us, who else will?

The Dividing Ubiquity

       ‘What do you do on a Sunday afternoon? You watch your favourite sports programme? Why not do something useful and riot instead? A little insurrection is a good thing...’ – Dr. David Dolowitz

       While I do believe these words were spoken humorously, they do hold a certain troubling truth within them – the ubiquitous influence of entertainment has turned most people into inactive, irrational, irresolute, apathetic, superfluous, simple-minded ‘couch potatoes’.

       People devote their terribly insufficient time to celebrity gossip, derivative shows, tedious sports channels, pointless films, unenlightening magazines, dumb music and clichéd books… When there is so much to do and so little – so utterly, inadequately little – time to do it.   

       You might be perplexed or flabbergasted by my sincere dislike of that particular product of modern society.

       I would even try to elaborate, if I believed an explanation was necessary. 

Reflections of the Past

       “Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.” - Oscar Wilde

       In my experience, it has never been easy to leave a path you have chosen – I am yet to meet a mentally stable and socially acceptable individual who would beg to differ. This feat is far from impossible, I admit, bit it is extremely difficult to accomplish.
       And I am certain you will agree that it is not only the effort to change who you are – your habits, idiosyncrasies, perceptions, etc. – that’s so bloody hard. There is something else that hinders you at every step of your transition: baggage.

       Now, obviously, I’m not referring to the sort of baggage one might take along on the train/plane/bus for a quick holiday escape. No... I am, in fact, talking about what modern society has dubbed the generally recognised euphemism for the loads of unpleasant moments in the history of, well, basically every person who has left his or her teen-age years behind.

       You always have trouble trusting another person because you were betrayed in the past? Then you have baggage – and a lot of it. You have a different set of ideas about what relationships ought to be like? Baggage. You don’t want to accept each and every single thing you don’t like? Baggage!

       I'm fairly sure that I know now what the most ironic aspect of making any significant change to the person you are truly is... No one ever stops reminding you who you used to be – people will always hold a mirror for you, lest you forget any mistake you’ve made.

       I don’t really know why. Although I do have my suspicions. If I had to guess... Maybe they are not aware that I already have a mirror.

On the Road...

“The Road goes ever on and on

Down from the door where it began.

Now far ahead the Road has gone,

And I must follow, if I can,

Pursuing it with eager feet,

Until it joins some larger way

Where many paths and errands meet.

And whither then? I cannot say.”

              - John Ronald Reuel Tolkien

       I have been pondering lately whether it is true what people say – that you get to know another person best when they are travelling.
       And I sincerely hope that is not the case.

       I have no doubt you’re not even wondering why, as you already know the answer, I’m sure. After all, we have all journeyed to or departed towards, or voyaged into something/somewhere (a goal; a destination; the unknown; the nearest pub; fill in the blank). And you must know what humans tend to be on the road – petty, irritable and generally rather far from the magnificent individuals they would otherwise be. (‘Otherwise’ here entails access to fresh food, clean clothes and personal hygiene facilities – the frail foundations, upon which civilisation rests in our consumer-driven Realm of the Developed.)

       Perhaps you’re thinking I believe myself and exclusion of sorts from that paradigm – and rightly so, even if that is true only to a certain extent. I am petty and irritable, and generally far from the magnificent individual I otherwise have the potential to be. But I am also happy and giddy with excitement. And hopeful – for I know where my road shall take me. And where it might...

       Few things hold greater allure, I believe, than the open road and its promises, whispered by winds unknown.

Hope and Glasses

       "Happiness is not an ideal of reason, but of imagination." - Immanuel Kant

       It has always seemed to me rather sad that lovely, sunny, positive and happy days are a catalyst for my thinking, analytical side. I have to admit, however, I do tend to be a lot more optimistic about the world on days such as this one...
       I'm not really sure why – I choose to believe that I simply see more of the beauty of life when I feel that there is hope (in the broadest possible sense, that is.)

       It is only human, to project our thoughts, emotions, perceptions onto our immediate surroundings – be they people, animals, bus stops, etc.

       Perhaps the point I was trying to make – with simple, direct words this time – is that I need more days like today, when I see the world through bloody pink-stained glasses.

       I truly do need them... I do not think I shall be able to stand the hypocrisy of it all, otherwise.